Be Open Minded

As mentioned, in my premise for this blog, the most important quality I believe that anyone can possess in order to enact change in their life is open mindedness.

Actually actively listening to new ideas in a balanced way is incredibly hard. I don’t pretend I am an expert in this at all. Equally it is so easy to assume that the way we have always thought about or done things is correct. We often can become entrenched in our beliefs about this.

I found that during my 20’s I had many preconceived ideas challenged and that I have since rethought. This was not isolated to one area of my view of the world. I see in my professional capacity people from all walks of life (In this country, sooner or later most people come through A+E). With this I see we are all products of our environment and upbringing.

A completely different set of experiences throughout someone’s life is bound to bring about a completely different perspective and viewpoint of what is right and wrong.

It is also important to point out that judging others based on our own ideals is often really unhelpful. It is so easy, in the modern era, to jump to conclusions or use the selective information fed to us to form our opinions about people or events.

Having personal experience, of someone close jumping down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole, I am not suggesting that all the information like this has a nefarious purpose. I do not believe that the news is trying to mislead us. However, a healthy dose of scepticism is never a bad thing.

You are a Chimp

One of my most recent reads in the last year has been the Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters [1].

This brilliantly book is about how our brains have developed and understanding ways of controlling our inner “chimp”. It uses real world examples to explain these ideas.

One theme within this book is that it is incredibly easy to believe that we have control over others and the way they interact with us and the world. It repeats, time and time again, that the only true control we have over our environment and relationships is the way in which we choose to react.

All of the messages within this book and within others that challenge our behaviours require an open mind to changing the way we interact with the world and live our lives.

I will try to write a deep dive into this book at some point. I truly think that listening to or reading this once a year could completely change a person’s mindset.

It could be incredibly hard to hear a lot of these ideas and challenge the way you interact with the world. But having an open mind and letting go of ego could ultimately lead to a much happier experience of life.

I found this book incredibly empowering. A recent podcast I’ve listened to on happiness [2] discussed how the perception of control is one of the key components to happiness. We all have the power to perceive situations in whichever way we choose. We can choose to sweat the small stuff or let it pass by and focus on what really matters.

Being open minded to the idea that the way we choose to react to our lives is within our control is an incredible starting point for self improvement.

If you feel this isn’t for you, again no judgement, but this blog and coming on this journey with me is probably not for you.

Be Receptive

It is impossible to start on a path to self improvement without being receptive.

This falls back on the principle that in order to change something you need to want that change. If you listen to something with a fixed view and are unwilling to listen to new information, or if you put your own “spin” on that information, then you can never truly grow as a person.

This may sound easy but can be incredibly difficult. Often our beliefs about the world can become so ingrained into our personalities that a challenge of those beliefs is a perceived attack on our personality. Having insight into this and challenging ourselves can lead us down the path of growth.

Often we can surround ourselves with echo chambers. Most of our friends and family tend to have similar life experiences and therefore similar views of the world. This often leads to us hearing what we want and not experiencing new points of view.

The same can be said for our online experiences where adverts and articles tailored towards our interests more and more. Despite the decline of the newspaper we read the same spin on most of the news and information we come across.

Even when we come across an opposing view in the online world the intention here is often outrage to encourage an interaction. We put our own impressions on these purposefully provocative clips.

As an exercise – instead of jumping to a conclusion or taking a story as black and white fact – why not try to view the view of the other side?

Clearly in some situations there are rights and wrong no matter how hard you might try to see the opposing argument. But, being open to the idea that it is not so clearly black and white and tailoring your emotional response based on this can be a very freeing experience.

Gentle Driving

Some good examples to how I have applied open minded thinking to the everyday is in my car. Admittedly these are almost directly straight from the Chimp Paradox.

In the past if I was running late I often became very frustrated when I was behind a slow driver or someone who was clearly not in the same rush I was. After reviewing things from the other side, I have no idea what sort of day that person is having. I don’t know that they aren’t like me after a night shift – trying to drive incredibly cautiously to avoid an accident.

Ultimately my thinking in this situation has completely changed – it is my own actions that have led me to be late. I can choose to be angry at the other drivers in front of me or I can relax and accept that I could have been better organised at leaving the house.

Another driving example is I have often in the past felt very anxious for a prolonged period if someone has “beeped” their car horn at me (in very British fashion). Often to the extent I have felt is completely out of proportion, the amount of time I have dwelled on this. Again I have taken the new approach that I have no idea what the other person in the car was experiencing that day. I have no control over their actions no matter whether I was in the right or wrong. The only thing I have control over is how I choose to react to that situation.

You can apply this to most forms of aggression directed against you. No one can control how you choose to think about a situation. Thinking about this often means letting things go becomes a lot easier.

Easing Frustration

Within A+E we often see a lot of people who would be better seen elsewhere (it is neither an accident or emergency). In my very junior years it was incredibly easy to adopt a cynical view of this. I often became frustrated that the system didn’t get people to the right place or that patients were unaware of using the wrong service. Again, applying the perspective of others, few of these patients (but not none of) had medical training. In hindsight, it was completely ridiculous for me to assume that these people should know as much as me about the healthcare service. Again how I now choose to react to this now is completely different and having an open mind in any consultation is never a bad thing.

The same can be said for any work environment. Being met with incredulity that you don’t know how a system works by a shop worker can be an incredibly off putting experience.

A Closed Mind

A telling example of the increase in closed minded thinking is a fairly famous graphic of the American political system. Opinions have polarised over the last 50 years as voting within the houses has tended to become black and white. This means compromise becomes much more challenging. In my opinion it is the lack of open mindedness that is to the detriment of all.

Obviously there will be hard lines for everyone that are indeed part of your identity.

For me there is a hard line in loyalty. It is something I see as earned and once earned never broken. My best friend from childhood is one of the most loyal people I have ever come across. He shares a very similar opinion on the matter. My echo chamber in this aspect is something I am aware of but do not view as a negative.

I could try to be open to hearing why someone was disloyal but it would be an exceptional circumstance for me to change my view.

A balanced view of the world, being open to the possibility you are wrong and not taking yourself too seriously is bound to have a dramatic impact on your mental wellbeing and ability to be happy.

It’s working for me so far.

[1] The Chimp Paradox: The Acclaimed Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness – by Professor Steve Peters

[2] The World No.1 Happiness Expert: Single Friends Will Keep You Single & Obesity Is Contagious! – The Diary of a CEO on Youtube